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Divorce and Remarriage: Mark 10:1-12
Please open your Bibles to the 10th chapter of the book of Mark.
Let’s read the first sentence:
(Mark 10:1) Jesus then left that place and went into the region of Judea and across the Jordan.
Mark chapter 10 marks an important shift in the ministry of Jesus.
Jesus had begun his ministry down along the Jordan River not far from John the Baptist. After John was out into prison, Jesus left the Jordan area and went up to Galilee. Here he began his very popular public ministry in the towns of Galilee.
As word about Jesus spread, eventually this word got back to Herod, who controlled both the region east of the Jordan and the region of Galilee. Herod in his guilt and paranoia thought Jesus might be John come back from the dead.
So Jesus decided it was time to go low profile He left Galilee and embarked on a tour of Gentile regions or in Herod Philip’s kingdom above Galilee. Even when he came back into Herod Antipas’ territory, he lay low, spending lots of time alone with his disciples, teaching them more intimately about who he is and what he came to do and what they are to be like as his disciples.
Some call this period of low profile Jesus’ “Retirement Ministry.” In the book of mark this period extends form Mark 7:24 to Mark 9:50.
But now the time is approaching. Luke says it this way:
As the time approached for him to be taken up to heaven, Jesus resolutely set out for Jerusalem (Luke 9:51).
Now that his period of retirement ends, Jesus begins again a more full scale public ministry heading toward Jerusalem.
He doesn’t go right away, but spends a few months in Samaria and on the border of Samaria, Galilee, Judah, and Perea. Luke covers this period of time in some detail, In fact, Luke spends more than eight chapters on what some people call Luke’s Travel Narrative from Luke chapters 9-18.
So as we look at Mark 10:1 we see that Jesus goes into the region of Judah and the area across the Jordan from Judah, which is called Perea. So Mark skips the several months of Jesus’ ministry recorded in those eight chapters of Luke.
(Mark 10:1) Jesus then left that place (Capernaum, Galilee) and went into the region of Judea and across the Jordan. Again crowds of people came to him, and as was his custom, he taught them.
Matthew adds that he is healing people as well. Once again, Jesus is ministering as he did in Galilee. People are drawn to him. Crowds are following him, perhaps people who had first come in contact with him in his early days of ministry along the Jordan.
(Mark 10:2) Some Pharisees came and tested him by asking, "Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife?"
Unfortunately public ministry means being dogged by the Pharisees. Now that Jesus is back near Judea, there are even more of them than before.
It seems odd and out of the blue for the Pharisees to suddenly bring up the issue of divorce and remarriage. Yes, this was a matter of some debate amongst Jews, but it was a family and in house debate. It is hard to imagine Jesus getting into too much trouble or alienating too many people by coming down one way or another in the Jewish divorce debates.
More is involved here than an in house dispute over the law. The Pharisees are tempting Jesus. The tempting or testing of Jesus has been a key theme of the book of Mark. Jesus is given all sorts of opportunities to deviate from his calling. Will Jesus stay true to his mission?
Well, Jesus is now back in public ministry in the territory of Herod Antipas. We need to remember that Herod Antipas was the most capable and powerful of the sons of Herod the Great. Herod Antipas controlled the territory of Galilee and Perea. Jesus was now ministering where he began, along the east bank of the Jordan, in Herod’s territory again.
Back in chapter 7 Jesus had retired from his public Galilean ministry when Herod started to edgy and paranoid about him maybe being John the Baptist raised form the dead. But now he was back in the public spotlight, and back in Herod’s territory.
We need to remember why Herod had had John beheaded. Why had Herod beheaded John? Well, primarily because John had been openly condemning Herod’s marriage to Herodius.
Herod had been married to the daughter of the King of Nabataea, a kingdom just to the east. Herodius had been married to Herod’s brother Philip. Herod had gone to visit his brother, and there met and fell in love with Herodius, who didn’t like her rich but non-ambitious husband. So they plotted. Herodius dumped her husband and Herod put away his wife, and they married each other.
John the Baptist had been getting in the way of their plans. So Herodius tricked Herod into chopping off his head.
So how is bringing up marriage tempting Jesus? The Pharisees had been plotting with the Herodians for some time as to how they might dispose of Jesus. Now the Pharisees see a chance. Maybe we can get Jesus to issue a verdict on divorce that would be seen as a condemnation of Herod, and maybe Herod would behead Jesus too.
Maybe this would tempt Jesus to teach or respond differently out of fear. And if Jesus out of fear renders a verdict that would not condemn Herod, maybe this would get Jesus into trouble with the followers of John the Baptist, or perhaps put Jesus at odds with Moses.
But Jesus is a hard guy to trick or trap. As often is the case, he answers the question with a question.
(Mark 10:3) "What did Moses command you?" he replied.
Jesus calls their bluff. He won’t get caught in heir trap. First he asks them to go to Moses themselves to answer their question, except now he asks them what it is that Moses commanded.
(Mark 10:4) They said, "Moses permitted a man to write a certificate of divorce and send her away."
They didn’t answer Jesus question. He asked what Moses had commanded. They answer with what Moses, they thought, permitted. They answer the question, “what can I get away with?” rather than the question, “what does God want?”
In Jesus’ day divorce was very common. There was a wide array of opinion about divorce, just as there is today. But within mainstream Judaism there were two primary schools of thought, one very lenient, one more strict, both very male-centered. In both views it was only the man who could put away his wife. Women could not divorce their husbands. Both of these schools looked to a rather obscure passage in Deuteronomy, but interpreted it differently. We need to look at that passage ourselves (Deuteronomy 24:1-5):
If a man marries a woman who becomes displeasing to him because he finds something indecent about her, and he writes her a certificate of divorce, gives it to her and sends her from his house, and if after she leaves his house she becomes the wife of another man, and her second husband dislikes her and writes her a certificate of divorce, gives it to her and sends her from his house, or if he dies, then her first husband, who divorced her, is not allowed to marry her again after she has been defiled. That would be detestable in the eyes of the LORD. Do not bring sin upon the land the LORD your God is giving you as an inheritance. If a man has recently married, he must not be sent to war or have any other duty laid on him. For one year he is to be free to stay at home and bring happiness to the wife he has married.
This passage is not about the question “What are grounds for divorce?” It really shouldn’t be used to answer that question.
This passage actually deals with a very narrowly defined situation. A man puts away his wife. She remarries. Her next husband divorces her, or he dies, or whatever. The point of the passage is that the first husband should not remarry her. We are reminded that we should be very cautious about deriving broad doctrines and principles from passages that are addressing specific narrowly defined issues.
Obviously though, this passage shows that Moses at least recognizes the fact of divorce, and perhaps implies that it is permitted under certain circumstances, under the circumstance of some “indecency.”
The question in Jesus’ day was what are the circumstances in which divorce is permitted? On what grounds may a man put away his wife? Specifically, what is the “indecency” mentioned in verse 1 of the Deuteronomy passage?
The more lenient school of thought, those that followed rabbi Hillel, interpreted this indecency as meaning anything the husband didn’t like, which might include things like improperly cooked meals, nagging, bothersome in-laws – whatever.
The stricter school, those that followed rabbi Shammai, believed that the “indecency” had to do with a serious sexual offense, perhaps adultery, or dishonesty about being a virgin. You should not put away a wife unless there has been a serious offense.
But even in the stricter school, even if you did put away a wife for a more trivial reason than Moses intended, even though that was not thought best, there was nothing that could stop you and you could still remarry. It was assumed you would remarry. The bottom line in actual practice was that men could put away their wives for any reason whatsoever and then remarry.
The question is, with which school will Jesus side? What will be his approach? Will he go with Hillel or Shammai? Well, as we might expect, Jesus goes with neither. Jesus goes with the Creator. As we have seen, He bypasses the passage in Deuteronomy and goes all the way back to the beginning, to God’s original intention for marriage. If we want to understand marriage let’s go back to the blueprints!
(Mark 10:5) "It was because your hearts were hard that Moses wrote you this law," Jesus replied.
Jesus always seems to get past the surface argument and get to the real issue.
The real issue or real problem with Israel is the same real problem with Rome and the Gentiles – it is sin and rebellion and hardness of heart.
But Israel had been called to show to the world the glory and truth of YHWH who made the world. Israel had been called by God to restore humankind and the world to what it was made to be in the first place. But She had failed. Her heart had been and was now hard and opposed to YHWH.
Jesus had come to usher in a new age. In the new age God will replace hearts of stone with hearts of flesh. He will give new hearts. He will make people to be as they were created to be, as they were designed by their creator. And that is true for marriage. For this reason, Jesus goes back to Genesis, back to the beginning. The people who will belong to Jesus will also have a mission in the world – to show forth to the world what it was made to be like.
But first, Jesus must explain the words in Deuteronomy.
Moses didn’t command men to put their wives away. Rather, he presupposed that in your heard heartedness you were doing this anyway. The fact that you were doing this had implications for women, and for others who might marry the divorced parties. So Moses was dealing with those implications.
By divorcing the man to give a certificate of divorce, God provided a protection for the woman. If you are going to divorce a woman, you must give her a certificate of divorce. This authenticates her release from the marriage and affirms her right to remarry.
And then, since you might also be tempted to divorce your second wife and then want to remarry your first wife, well, you can’t do that. That is improper and not fitting.
But since you raised the subject, let me tell you this. Divorce was not and is not part of the Creator’s design. It is never to be thought of as a God-ordained, morally neutral option, but as evidence of sin and hardness of heart. Jesus isn’t saying here merely that getting a divorce shows hardness of heart. Sin and hardness of heart already exist in a marriage before there is divorce. There may be unfaithfulness, lack of commitment, brutality, meanness, unsubmissiveness, selfishness, all kinds of things which contribute to the ill health of the marriage. In other words, even in the conservative or restrictive reading of the passage in Deuteronomy, the circumstances which would lead a man to consider putting away his wife themselves testify to hardness of heart.
The whole way the Pharisees are looking at it is wrong. They are going to the passage in Deuteronomy looking for reasons a man may legitimately put away a wife. This is not the point of the passage in Deuteronomy, and it shouldn’t be the point of concern for the Pharisees.
We shouldn’t be asking the question, “For what reasons may I get a divorce?” We should be asking the asking the question, “How can we be in agreement with the Creator’s plan for marriage?”
Jesus had asked them what Moses commanded. They answered with what Moses permitted. Jesus now is going to tell them what Moses commanded for Moses was the author of the whole Pentateuch!
(Mark 10:6) "But at the beginning of creation God 'made them male and female.' (Mark 10:7) 'For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, (Mark 10:8) and the two will become one flesh.' So they are no longer two, but one. (Mark 10:9) Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate."
Human beings we were made by the Creator a certain way. He made them this way on purpose. He made them as male and female, as suitable and complementary opposites. Each was made to need the other. Each was made to be lonely without the other.
At the right time when all is ready, the man is to leave father and mother and be joined together with his wife, becoming one flesh. This is the order of creation. And so, Jesus concludes, “What God has joined, let man not separate.”
The oneness, the indivisibleness of the new unit, symbolized by their sexual union – this is an essential part of the Creator’s plan for his world. This is the plan for man and woman, the plan for family, the plan for human society and culture. And so, let man not thwart God’s intention. What God has joined, let not man separate, let Hillel not Separate, let Shammai not separate, let Herod and Herodius not separate, let the Pharisees not separate, and let Jesus’ disciples not separate.
Here Jesus blows them away. Jesus sides with Malachi. God hates divorce. In the new kingdom, where God will soften hard hearts, marriage is to be permanent.
Jesus also sides with John the Baptist. Herod and Herodius, John was right. You are adulterers!
So, the temptation didn’t work!
(Mark 10:10) When they were in the house again, the disciples asked Jesus about this.
Jesus’ words on marriage seem strong and severe to the disciples. What do you mean Jesus?
(Mark 10:11) He answered, "Anyone who divorces his wife and marries another woman commits adultery against her.
Jesus’ teaching here is radical. Nowhere, under any circumstance, in rabinnic courts, was a husband said to commit adultery against his former wife. A man could commit adultery against another man by seducing his wife (Lane). Or a woman could commit adultery against her husband by infidelity. In either case, adultery was a wrong committed against a man.
Now not only is a man said to commit adultery against a woman, but against a divorced wife! The divorce papers have in fact not relieved the man of marital obligation to his former wife.
Jesus is teaching that a paper divorce does not get us out from under the commandment, “Do not commit adultery.” What the civil authority may see as a divorce, God may still see as a marriage, and what the State may see as a remarriage, God may see as an adultery, since in His eyes the person is really still married.
Thus, if I see a person I would rather be married to, and divorce my wife, getting all the official legal papers, and then marry another woman, I am committing adultery. No, the only way I can legitimately “put away” my wife, and then remarry without that remarrying being adultery, is if my wife commits adultery or some other serious sexual offense. In that case, she has in effect broken the bond of oneness and killed the marriage, and I am free to divorce her, and then to remarry.
In summary, what Jesus is saying is that unless the divorce is brought about by the other party’s marital unfaithfulness, then God doesn’t recognize the divorce as a divorce, which means that one is committing adultery when remarrying.
Now we notice that Jesus’ words in Mark read differently than in Matthew.
There are two things we notice different about the mark passage.
First, in Mark we do not find the words “except for marital unfaithfulness.” These words have been called the “exception clause.” There is no “exception clause” in the Mark passage.
How do we explain this difference? Are there grounds for divorce that allow a person to remarry without sin, or are there not. The Catholic church understands this one way, the Protestant church generally another.
Some believe that the Mark passage reflects Jesus’ real teaching, that there really are no exceptions and that divorce and remarriage are never permitted, and that either Matthew has added the clause to soften the impact of Jesus’ words, or that the exception clause doesn’t mean what we think it means.
We will get to the meaning of that clause in a moment.
What about the omission of the words in Mark? We cannot in this case say that Jesus said two different things at two different times. The passages in Mark 10 and Matthew 19 clearly refer to the same event, the same discussion. So either Matthew adds the clause, this clarifying what he knew Jesus assumed, or Mark omitted the words, assuming his audience understood this, not wanting the reader to shift thoughts back to the question of how can I legitimately get out of my marriage.
The second thing we notice in the Mark passage is that Jesus applies the principle to women as well as men. The issue runs both ways.
And if she divorces her husband and marries another man, she commits adultery."
Now there is quite a tricky textual problem here…..
OK, let’s go back and look for a moment to the exception clause, “except for marital unfaithfulness.”
The Greek word phrase used here is “epi porneia.” Two words. Two big debates. The little preposition “epi” is translated in the NIV as “except.” The word “porneia” is translated in the NIV as “marital unfaithfulness.”
Now there are some who believe very strongly that divorce is prohibited under all circumstances. Many Roman Catholic scholars for example argue that thew little word “epi” has a different meaning than “except.” Without going into the details here, which I will go into if someone really wants to pursue it, I think the obvious way to translate “epi” is in fact by our word “except.” It seems to me that to try to translate this otherwise bends the rules of Greek too much, and is motivated by a view that Jesus can’t possibly sanction divorce under any circumstance. Thus it seems that in Matthew’s version of Jesus’’ words, there is an exception to Jesus’ no remarriage without adultery verdict.
The meaning of “porneia” has vexed the church for two millennia. Some again, particularly Roman Catholic scholars, have taken the word “porneia” to refer to incest. The idea here is that many pagan people who would become Christians were already in marriages that Jews would have regarded as incestuous. Jesus does not want them to think that his prohibition of divorce applied to their illicit marriages, which they of course must get out of.
Others believe “porneia” refers to the discovery of premarital unchastity.
Still others believe that “porneia” here means adultery, and only adultery. Yet there is another Greek word for adultery, and “porneia” usually has a broader range of meaning.
Generally the word “porneia” refers to a broad range of sexual sins, adultery included, and that is what I believe it refers to here.
Therefore, since the word “epi” means “except for,” and since the word “porneia” refers to a range of sexual sins, there is an exception to the rule about divorce and remarriage.
Whether it is Mark or Matthew that give us the exact words of Jesus I just don’t know. In either case, the meaning is as Mathew renders it. There is an exception.
In summary, looking at all that has been said by Jesus, we may say that Jesus thinks that divorce always involves sin and hardness of heart; it is not what the Creator intended. But just as Moses permitted it because of certain sins, so does Jesus, but on the sole grounds of “porneia,” or sexual sin. To put away a husband or wife for any other reason is to cause them to commit adultery if they remarry, and is to cause yourself to commit adultery if you remarry. But if a spouse has been unfaithful, committing adultery, or being guilty of other weighty sexual offenses, then the offended party is free to divorce and remarry, and do so with a clear conscience. Why? Because the one who is unfaithful has in effect already broken and violated the oneness of marriage, has already torn asunder what God had joined.
The Westminster Confession puts it this way in chapter 14, section 5: I commend this to you as an excellent summary.
Adultery or fornication committed after a contract, being detected before marriage, giveth just occasion to the innocent party to dissolve that contract. In the case of adultery after marriage, it is lawful for the innocent party to sue out a divorce: and after the divorce, to marry another, as if the offending party were dead.
Now I need to say here that Jesus is making a powerful case for the permanency of marriage. If I am mistaken in my understanding of Jesus’ words, my error is on the side of greater leniency, and the correct view, if mine isn’t correct, is undoubtedly more strict than mine. Jesus lays down the Creator’s position in no uncertain terms: marriage is to be permanent. What God has joined, let man not separate.
The fact that there is an exception clause should not be exploited by people. “OK, “I may think, “I want out, now how can I construe my spouse as being unfaithful? How can I rationalize getting out with a clear conscience?” Our view should always be that our marriage is forever, and we will be committed to it. If my partner breaks the covenant by being unfaithful, then I can’t control his or her choice. They have dissolved the bond, and with sorrow I may choose, although I don’t have to choose this, to file for divorce. But as far as it depends on me, my attitude should be that I’m in this for the long haul, through thick and thin, and I will be faithful.
The fact that there is an exception clause should not be exploited by people. “OK, “I may think, “I want out, now how can I construe my spouse as being unfaithful? How can I rationalize getting out with a clear conscience?” Our view should always be that our marriage is forever, and we will be committed to it. If my partner breaks the covenant by being unfaithful, then I can’t control his or her choice. They have dissolved the bond, and with sorrow I may choose, although I don’t have to choose this, to file for divorce. But as far as it depends on me, my attitude should be that I’m in this for the long haul, through thick and thin, and I will be faithful.
Well, this teaching bothered the disciples, and they took a rather surly position. Their follow up question is not recorded in Mark, but it is in Matthew, Verse 10 of chapter 19:
The disciples said to him, "If this is the situation between a husband and wife, it is better not to marry."
In other words, they are saying, if marriage is to be permanent in this way, it is better not to marry! It’s a good thing the disciples aren’t trying to make a living leading marriage seminars.
What is Jesus’ response to the disciples? Verse 11:
Jesus replied, "Not everyone can accept this word, but only those to whom it has been given.
What Jesus is saying here is that not everyone can accept the disciple’s conclusion that it is better not to marry. Jesus believes marriage to be good, even though He is realistic about the difficulties in a fallen world. He knows that long term commitment to one person in a fallen world can be hard. He understands how one could conclude that it is better not to marry. But, not everyone can accept this conclusion, just those “to whom it is given.” Verse 12:
For some are eunuchs because they were born that way; others were made that way by men; and others have renounced marriage because of the kingdom of heaven. The one who can accept this should accept it."
In other words, some are born celibate, with no biological interest in marriage or with no apparent sexual need. Others are made that way, i.e. castrated, for whatever reason. Jesus doesn’t condone the practice, of course, but notes that for some this has happened. Others choose to be celibate for the sake of the kingdom, so as to concentrate their energies and time on the work of the gospel. For those to whom it is given, who are able to be both single and righteous, who can remain single without burning with passion, yes, it is better not to marry.
You know, I really appreciate Jesus’ realism. His view of marriage is solid and uncompromising, but it is not romantic or utopian. For many, for those to whom it has been given, it is better not to marry.
But let’s go back to the primary question of the passage. In particular, what do Jesus’ words about marriage, divorce, and remarriage say to those of us here today?
What about those of us here who are divorced and remarried. I want to be really honest and straightforward. It is possible that you divorced your spouse because he or she was unfaithful. You were free to remarry, and you did, and as far as that marriage was concerned, it was as if that former spouse was and is dead. Maybe your spouse left for other reasons and was later remarried. In doing this he or she committed adultery, and again, you were free to remarry.
But maybe you left the marriage for reasons not included in Jesus’ exception here. Jesus’ words may be hard for you. But let’s just say for the sake of discussion that you did it all wrong. Say you left your spouse for another man or woman. Say you were tired of the marriage and you walked out and later remarried. You feel the sting of Jesus’ words, that one who does this commits adultery. Perhaps you have dealt with this already. But maybe you haven’t, and these words anger or discourage you. You may have guilt that has never been dealt with. Do not be hardened in your heart because of anger, or because of a desire to rationalize your past. See the past for what it was, soften your heart before the Lord, confess and repent, and get on with your new marriage in the power and meekness of Christ. The promise of the gospel is for you, and God’s mercies are new every morning.
If you are now remarried, your new vow, your new relationship, is what is most important today. I believe God wants to make something beautiful of every marriage relationship here in this room today, no matter how it came about, no matter how many times we may have been married and remarried, no matter how we came to be married to the one we are now married to. He wants your present marriage to be all it can be, and for you to glorify Him in it. That is what I want as well.
What about those of you who may be divorced and not remarried. What is Jesus saying to your situation? Are you free to remarry? If both you and your former spouse are professing believers, and if neither of you are remarried, I believe the first thing to do is to seek reconciliation. I have seen this happen and seen broken marriages brought back together. If your spouse was unfaithful, you are free to carry on and remarry with a clear conscience. You are also free to seek reconciliation. That is up to you. Neither is better or higher.
If your spouse is remarried, then, no matter how your own marriage ended, there is no hope of reconciliation, and I would say you are free to remarry. If your spouse remains chaste, and yet does not wish to reconcile, this is very difficult, and I cannot say that you are free to remarry. But this is very rare, and I have only ever known of one person in this situation.
What about those who are single? We live in a fallen world that is possessed by romantic idealism about love and marriage. In this context I say that marriage is over rated. If you are able to get along just fine without being married, rejoice. You may be one “to whom it has been given” and may be quite happy in your singleness. If you are not one of these, then my advice is to be faithful in the spheres of responsibility and relationship that you have, and wait patiently for the Lord’s provision.
God is more than able to bring into your life just the kind of person that would be good and right for you to marry. Be careful not to let your desire turn into desperation and cause you to go into an unwise marriage. All things being equal, it is better to be struggling with being single than to be in a bad marriage. Remember that the sense of aloneness or alienation you feel is part of the human predicament not merely the single predicament, and is not all filled up in this life by marriage. Loneliness doesn’t stop when you get married.
What about those here who are married, and struggling, and perhaps even considering divorce. As Jesus did, I would point you back to God’s design for marriage in Genesis 1 and 2. You are called to cleave to your spouse, and to be one flesh. You are called to be committed to your marriage, and as far as you are concerned, to consider it not an option to leave the marriage. This is a serious moral issue, just as serious as murder and stealing and idolatry.
I find it odd really that people so easily ponder walking out on their marriages who would not dare ponder murdering or stealing. They come to me and ask, “Should I leave my husband? Should I leave my wife?” And I say, “Should I kill my wife?” “Should I embezzle money from the church?” They say, “No, of course not!” And I say, “Why not?” And they say, “Because it’s wrong.” And I say, “Likewise for you.”
This is the import of Jesus’ teaching. Marriage is to be permanent. You can’t control what your spouse does, but you can control what you do. To leave your marriage epi porneia, “except for unfaithfulness,” is to cause adultery to happen. If you want to walk in the way of Jesus, you are to continue to strive to be faithful externally and internally to your marriage.
Every marriage is somewhere on the continuum between as good as it can be and as bad as it can be. Jesus and the disciples both recognized the challenges that are there in remaining faithful to one person over a lifetime in a fallen world. And yet, faithful commitment to your husband or wife is God’s will for your life.
The permanency of marriage offers the only sound structural foundation for community and society. But it also allows for the growth and development of that kind of agape Christ-like love which God wants to bring about in our lives. Marriage asks us to renounce ourselves and follow Jesus, to learn the way of the cross. In marriage relationships we can learn to love as Jesus loved. That above anything is our purpose in life.
I believe that no marriage is hopeless and no marriage is guaranteed safe and secure. I have seen what appeared to be hopeless marriages turn around by God’s grace, and what appeared to be good marriages crash and burn. Marriage depends on two people continuing to work hard and make right choices. But the command comes to us first as individuals. I am not called to love my wife to the extent that she is working hard at loving me. I am called to love her as Christ has loved me. Period.
Some marriage relationships are things of beauty indeed. Others are fraught with trouble. Most are a mixed bag, sometimes great, sometimes really difficult, usually OK. If you are in a marriage situation that truly is difficult, turn your sorrow and frustration and need into a spiritual asset, by turning your heart to the Lord, crying out to Him, coming to know Him as your provision. Let his invitation be your life’s strength.
Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.
Let your present trouble build in you a beautiful hope of heaven, a hope and joy which will give you great strength and beauty as a child of God. Let your trouble be God’s way of teaching you to love the unlovely, to give without expecting return. In this you become like your Lord Jesus.
As we often say, remember that every command implies a promise. God does not ask us to do the impossible. He makes Himself available to give strength and wisdom and self control. He provides access to resources, to books, to video series, to other couples. So I am not saying let’s be happy with mediocre marriages. We do need to work and strive to become what God intended in the beginning.
This gets us back to the heart of Jesus’ teaching.
YHWH had promised that in the days of Messiah he would give a new heart to his people. This new heart would enable them to live they had been created to live as human beings. This is why Jesus goes back to Genesis when dealing with the issue of marriage.
This is one reason huge reason we are saved, to become what we were made to be in the first place. But we work and strive with a measure of wisdom and realism, always pressing forward, always growing in love, always seeking to put on Christ, and always learning to love as He has first loved us.
Amen |
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